If women are to rule, here are some survival rules for guys….
Hey, a blog can’t be serious all the time, right? Wisdom of an uncertain heritage served up on the World Wide Web:
NINE WORDS WOMEN USE
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument
when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a
half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have
just been given five more minutes to watch the game before
helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means
something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that
begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do
It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal
statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she
thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her
time standing here and arguing with you about nothing.
(Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous
statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means
she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and
when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or
faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a
clause here - This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a
lot’ - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you
at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ . that will
bring on a ‘whatever’).
(8) Whatever: Is a woman’s way of saying F– YOU!
(9) Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous
statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a
man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This
will later result in a man asking ‘What’s
wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to # 3.
November 20th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
Since I’ve got a 13-year-old boy living in my house, I think turnaround is fair play…
NINE WORDS TEENAGE BOYS USE:
(1) Fine: This is the universal response to “How was your day?” or “How is X [name of friend]?” Or, “How are your grades?”
(2) Five Minutes: The maximum time that homework will take to complete on the weekend.
(3) Nothing: What’s wrong. (See #9 on list in main entry, about women’s expressions.)
(4) Go Ahead: “I won’t put my ego on the line by making a choice.”
(5) Loud Sigh: The forbearance of teenagers is infinite, unless you want to hug them in public, straighten a collar, tell them how nice they look, remind them to tie their shoelaces, ask if they have their lunch, or any one of 996 other parenting actions.
(6) That’s Okay: High praise!!!!!!
(7) Thanks: Unless delivered sarcastically, this IS genuine.
(8) Whatever: See #4 above.
(9) Don’t worry about it, I got it: Grades, clothing, scarfing food from the fridge, and (on occasion, which should be ignored except for a very slight nod of the head and smile) cleaning up after a spill.
November 20th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
That’s great, Sherman….richard